There was a birthday party

Last weekend was the party. It was, well, it was a party, for a one year old. I still don't get why it's such a big deal. Am I crazy, or is it everyone else?

It was exciting for Goosey, being at her Grandma's always is because there is so much new stuff to terrorize and get into. Like all the breakable things and collectible dolls that are all over the floor (yep, all over the floor. It takes eagle eyes to hang out over at the Shopping Queens house.)

Goosey made out like a bandit with the presents; toys, clothes, books, a collectible precious moments doll. Yes, that's right someone gave her a collector doll. When I opened the box I read the tag that said 'this item is NOT a toy...' and the advice began. "You should put her hairnet back on." "Keep the box, you ALWAYS keep the box for collectible items." "I gave Goosey's cousin one collectible doll every year until she was ten." "Our mom would let us play with our special collectible dolls twice a year." I had no idea what to say, I believe that toys are meant to be played with, not to sit on shelves. I pretended to really take the advice to heart, and put the doll back in the box. What else could I do with all of Mr. NH's family giving such great advice about it.

There was Pooh cake with pink icing, and not the good kind, but the stuff that tastes terrible. Goosey got her hands in it, but didn't like the sticky feeling. So rather than eat most of it, she flung it on the floor.

The most exciting thing, wasn't the birthday or the presents or the cake, but the dog. Goosey followed her around the kitchen in circles trying to pet her. It was a nice break for me.

The things that excited me most at the party included these conversation tidbits:

d: "Whatever happened to giving asexual toys to kids?"
s: "It's because girls need girl toys and boys need boy toys. Girls should be at home learning from the mother, like cooking and cleaning."
(I didn't say they were all good exciting...)

f: "Can you look at my foot and tell me what's wrong with it?"
Mr. Nh: "Ok, but is it clean?"

f: "Netty pots are messy and don't feel good."
m: "Have you used one?"
f: "No, but it sounds like it would be messy."
d: "S would be using one every half an hour if she got one, she always has sinus problems."
s: evil, evil glare to her husband d.

me: "Goosey, you want to hold your cousins hand?"
cousin: "I'm not holding her hand, too much frosting."
a: "Wimp."

And the conversation with the Spiritual Mother about the final transition of changing from calling her son Rachel/she to Trey/he. I could see Mr. NH's aunt trying as hard as she could to pretend like she wasn't listening to the conversation. She is a staunch christian who believes in everything the bible says, especially about marriage and lifestyle 'choices.'

It was a nice enough party, but I am so glad that it's done.

One year old Yoda girl.

High-threshold relationships

I recently read a post on Facebook by my friend, Spiritual Mother, it was talking about high-threshold and low-threshold relationships. So I'm contemplating who is on my high-threshold list, and can feel my heart swelling just thinking of my relationships with those people.

Let me explain. High-threshold is not, like I first thought, high-maintenance. High-threshold is the relationship that you would do anything for, never let die, compromise the love you share, basically sticking out the relationship no matter what. High-threshold is that person you know you would never let go of, the person that you would do anything for.

Low-threshold is the relationship that you have not fully committed yourself to, one you would walk away from because of an issue or disagreement. Basically, a relationship without an agreement at a deeper level.

So, here is the beginning of my high-threshold list. I know it will continue to grow, change and transform as I do, but here is the list as of now. (In no particular order, except for number one and number two).

Mr. Not Hideous: because he is who he is and I can't imagine not having him around.

Goosey: the sweet girl who is part of me. She has shaped my life in so many ways, I can't even begin to explain.

Storysmith: My sister and best friend. It has taken us about 20 years to get here, I'm so glad we finally are.

Box Car Child: My other sister, and best friend. Always my accomplice in life. The absolute free spirit.

The Plaid Man: My brother-in-law, the first man I could truly trust. He opened me up in a way to be able to receive a relationship with Mr. NH. I can't thank him enough.

The Hatlady: How could my mother not make the list?

Spiritual Mother: The woman who made me have the conversation with Mr. NH about having a relationship. She is one of the most powerful women I know.

B and L: My second parents. Two people who have shaped me into who I am, and taught me so many things about life and living fearlessly while still questioning things to find my own beliefs.

Traveling Man: It took me a long time to get to here with my Dad. He traveled a lot when I was young and I assumed he didn't love me, getting rid of that story was one of the best things I have done in my entire life.

Girl Genius: My half sister. An amazing girl, I can't wait to see the woman she turns into and how she will change the world.

Triple A: This man is unconditional love in itself. I have never met a more caring, loving, generous human being.

My Communist: She has fostered my love for travel and nature, and is brilliant.

Dances for Dull Moments: My absolute favorite choreographer, and a complete artistic genius. She is fearless.

Die Cut Queen: Ultimate teacher, camp counselor, and empathetic to the core. The only person I've ever met who won't kill a mosquito.

Sister-friend: My longest lasting friendship, and the girl who ultimately gets me.


That's my list. I recommend you make one, and share it with your high-threshold friends.